T H E – B I G – D O G G O ‘ S – U P T I M E

The uptime antics of the bigger dogs are majorly fun and frantic.

I like to describe our property as a fan, a Japanese-style, handheld one. Not only because it is cool and pretty, but also practical. Stick with me as I attempt to explain.

The sleeping quarters

We have two main sleeping areas (kennels) for the medium to larger dogs. These are located in the middle of our property, close to the north boundary.

We have play yards to the East and play yards to the West – each side has distinct characteristics that cater to certain dog-onalities.

The Original Kennels – East

We named the original kennel wings ‘Maddy Wing’ (west) and ‘Jacinda Wing’ (North) – framed by the ‘Bronte’ yard. Maddy and Jacinda are historical (still breathing) characters who were at the helm prior to the Scadden family (see our history page).

Dogs who snooze in these wings will, more often than not, spend their active hours in the fields on the East (and original) side of the property.

Historically, the fencing on the east was consistently low (more like traditional farm fences). So this side has always attracted fat labs, chunky retreivers and dogs too lazy or too old to jump the fences.

NBKC is on a mission to gradually replace the fences, making them higher, so that dogs will need to sprout wings to scale them.

The Added Kennels – West

‘Ratbag Alley’ (North and West Wings) sleeps the larger ‘running’ style dogs.

We would never call our guests ‘ratbags’ (or hardly ever)! We kept the name from whence it came, Berwick Kennels. Berwick Kennels, sold to developers, then onsold ‘Ratbag Alley’ to us. We dismantled the structures and transported them north, to re-resurrect them on NBKC soil.

Residents of Ratbag Alley usually spend their play & running hours on the west side of the property.

The vagaries of legal processes thwarted the champagne-popping moment to celebrate taking ownership of our west side. We believe, but can’t be 100% sure, that it occurred in March 2021.

Regardless of the fact about ownership, we planted trees, erected yards, installed lane-ways, popped in sprinklers, affixed shade sails and craned in large concrete pipes (for shade, fun & adventure).

A Fan of UpTime

Back to the fan analogy.

Imagine, if you will, holding a fan in your hands, spread out. The kennels (sleeping quarters) are in the middle two folds. Each fold in the fan is a yard. The right side is East, left is West. The first yard we take the dogs to is the furthest one away from the kennels. We shut the gate to this yard, then fill the next yard. Repeat this process until the closest yard receives its guests for the day. Each side, East & West, follows the same pattern.

However, there is a definite operational distinction between the two sides. On the east side, dogs race across the paddocks to speed through the gates. On the west side, dogs reach their destination via interconnecting breezeways (or runways). Each side has its pros and cons. Shall we explore?

Uptime Mayhem

Excitement is palpable at uptime. The purple people square their shoulders to approach the thunderous noise and riotous and, at times, bulldozer-ish affection thrown at them.

Every dog is different in their routine and we cannot highlight all but we will have a fair crack at some generalizations.

East Side

There are thirteen play yards on the east side.

Remember, dogs heading east, are racing across yards to their destination.

Usually, if not always, dogs must go to the toilet first. The Bronte’s yard takes its fair load of excrement – and must be the first area to receive a pooper scoop beauty treatment (after uptime).

Actually, if not terribly desperate, a dog’s first task is to tease and harass the other dogs still waiting in their rooms. It sounds like this.

Bark at you, Bark at you. Ha ha sucker, you are in, I am out. Let me at you, bark at you! Wait, wait, I have to go to the loo! See ya, loser! And, bark at you.

The time taken for toileting can range from a fast expulsion of waste to a lengthy and protracted dance to shift the matter.

A ‘dance’ might involve three turns clockwise, then two anticlockwise then the bottom lowering, like a dump truck. Or, perhaps, three steps forward, a quarter turn, six precise steps, bottom hoola, then ahh, ready! The combinations are endless, varied, and unique to each canine.

Some dogs will manage a neat deposit, others a trail of gifts.

Whilst the majority of dogs relieve themselves in the Bronte yard, others aren’t hit with the poo fairy until midway to their yard. This can hold up the yarding process.

Selective deafness is a well-known ‘delay’ tactic for some pooches. To fix this persistent ‘doggone’ problem, we simply loose-leash the deaf one and lead them to their yard. Boo!

Some dogs will get halfway to their yard, then halt, clearly they have forgotten something important as they turn, ponder, then race back to the start line. This forgotten item can be a friend, or the purple person behind them (why aren’t you coming?), or, it is simply a game that they enjoy.

The smells in each yard are a total distraction! We liken this to doggy ‘nose’ media. The human equivalent of Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Most dogs must check the messages and add a response. Some messages are fast to read, others more involved. A cone of silence (aka deafness) can settle around them as they contemplate each posting or tweet.

Many dogs simply know where they are going and kick their back legs up in joy as they bolt for their destination. We would never admit to this, but they are our favs!

West Side

There are twenty-two play yards, of various sizes, on the west side of the property.

Remember, dogs traverse breezeways (or laneways) to get to their destination, thus different behaviors are observed.

The definite advantage on this side, by filling the furthest point away first, is avoiding the excited ‘fence running’. Essentially, there is a lot of barking, teeth-baring and posturing during fence running – and this behavior can intensify during the excitement of uptime. So, our system can avoid many of these show-off attitudes.

The Ratbag Alley dogs are first released into a breezeway immediately outside their kennels. It is fun to watch the excited greetings and scornful woofs at those still in their rooms. It makes the purple people smile.

The purple people can ‘hold’ dogs at various points along the laneways. This is possible as several strategically placed gates form holding spaces. This allows time for the purple people to settle dogs into their yards before allowing the next pack through.

The ‘ooh food’ drill amuses our staff endlessly. Frequently, a food-obsessed hound will become distracted by the possibility of a snack as they are milling about after their release. Here is what I think goes through their head.

Ooh, uptime, uptime, hurry up you purple person. Bark at you! I want out! Here we go, here we goooo, excellent, thank you, jump at you. Hey good lookin’ – let me sniff that butt, oh, another one, come here you. Nose kiss. Bloop. Ooh, where are we going? This way? Yay, we are off.

Wait! What? What is that? Is that a BOWL? Ooooh, that was a good old slide to a halt, well done you! Bark at you, bark at you, guys, guys, come back, there is a BOWL in here! Let me at it. How can I get it? Nope, can’t fit my nose through that hole. Nope, my paw can’t fit there.

Wait, there must be more bowls somewhere. Let me see. Ooh, there is another! Woof at you, come back here, I have found another BOWL. No, wait, don’t come back. I want it all to myself. Wait! What? Is that purple person calling my name? Maybe, ahuh, that is me. Can I reach the BOWL? Nope! OK. I will come – will ya stop shouting at me! Geez! I am off, bark at you. Wait for me guys!

Let’s discuss the masterful ‘influencers’. Male dogs who ‘t(wee)t’ at every upright object on the way to their yard. This causes pauses as their buddies must check the message as they go past.

Likewise, the boots or trouser legs of a purple person are ‘t(wee)t-able’ – if the human stands still for longer than a few seconds. Now, there’s an embarrassingly smelly ‘t(wee)t’ to lug around with you for the entire day!

Upon reaching their yard, the ‘gate dance’ is remarkably similar to the small dog habits. You can find a description of this fun syndrome on our Doggy Diary – Tail #1 post.

Uptime complete

We will leave the dogs all settled into their yards and allow the purple people to monitor them throughout the day. Human attention now hones in on the inevitable cleanup after such a frenzied & fun uptime.

The fine art of ‘kennel cleaning’ is another story, one that we might share with you, sometime soon, so, stay tuned – if you dare.

Until next time.